Take It Out with the Trash

Owen and I went up Mt. Hoy today and hung out there to watch the sun set. For those who don't know, Mt. Hoy (maybe better known as Mt. Trashmore) is a reclaimed landfill that is now part of a forest preserve.

Just look at how something that is complete garbage can be turned into something beautiful. That kind of reminds me of how God works in our lives. He can take a terrible situation and mold it into something truly wonderful. God is awesome.

Wow Moments

Okay, so first below is some context for what I have to say later. This is from my daily devotional.

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The Columbia space shuttle’s guidance system kicks in when you’re in motion. That means you’ve got to get off the launching pad! Are you stuck in the same spot praying “Lord, I won’t make a move until I hear from You,” while He’s saying, “You’ll hear from Me once you’ve done what I’ve already put before you to do?” Sometimes we know what God wants, but we don’t like it. So we pray hoping He’ll change His mind and rubber-stamp what we desire.

The Bible says, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going” (Heb 11:8 NIV). When you follow God you’ll go out not knowing as much as you’d like to. Counselors, study groups, committees, business plans and projections notwithstanding, there comes a time when you have to move in the direction God is pointing. Will you have unanswered questions and unspoken concerns? Absolutely. Just like your car’s headlights don’t shine round the next corner or over the next hill, God will give you direction on an ‘as need to know’ basis. That’s why Paul writes: “We walk by faith, not by sight” (2Co 5:7). Actually, it’s the only way to go! It keeps you close to God, dependent on Him, and helps you remember Who the credit for all your successes belongs to. And by the way, God’s guidance system usually takes a lifetime to learn.

God guides us by closing one door then opening another. Abraham didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he couldn’t stay where he was – and that’s enough to create movement in the right direction. Knowing you can’t stay where you are is often the starting point of God’s guidance. And it usually begins with an inward stirring and restlessness in your soul. Seasons have beginnings and endings. When a season is over, you sense it’s time to move!

“They headed north [to]…Bithynia, but again the Spirit…said no. So instead they went on through Mysia province to the city of Troas. That night Paul had a vision. In his dream he saw a man over in Macedonia, Greece, pleading with him, ‘Come over here and help us.’ Well, that settled it. We would go to Macedonia, for we could only conclude that God was sending us to preach the Good News there” (Acts 16:7-10 TLB). Notice, when God kept Paul from going into Asia, Paul didn’t stay there praying and asking “why?” – he just kept moving. For Paul, trying something and it not working out was no big deal. He believed that his gift to God was his willing heart and his mobility, and that God’s gift to him was that He would always guide him to where he needed to be. What God prevents, denies, or keeps us away from, is as much divine guidance as what He permits and opens up to us. Every door that didn’t open, every opportunity you didn’t get, every call that didn’t come, is as much God’s guidance as those that did. Think about it!
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Now that you have that context, let me share my story.

I’ve been feeling God leading me towards a field where I am working much more closely with others in my life – something more towards the field of psychology or ministry. I still don’t know exactly where he is leading me – at least that is what I have been telling myself. I’m just lying to myself though. I know that he is leading me towards a different path.

Sally and I had a long talk out at one of the forest preserves the other day. I think it was very beneficial for the both of us. At one point we talked about a big decision that Sally has to make in her life. Her friends have given her some good advice on the subject and I believe they all agree with each other too, but Sally is still uncertain about what she should do.

I’ve never been one to want to offer suggestions for anything really big in someone’s life. I have my opinions, yes, for sure. And I have opinions in Sally’s case too, but I don’t feel like it is my place to tell her. I can tell her what I think is right and best, but that is still only what “I think.” Instead, I like to help people draw out the answers that God gives them. As we talked, things became clear to me as Sally described these occasional moments when she wasn’t distracted or busy with life when she had these feelings of knowing the action that she needed to take. I became inspired in that moment to ask: “Well do you ever get those kinds of feelings telling you to do the opposite or take a different action?” The answer was of course no. This made me really start to think about how we consume our minds with thoughts and reasons for both sides. But then there are these moments when we truly forget about all of the well ifs and what ifs and let God speak through. I call these the Wow moments. Those moments when your mind is clear, you’re thinking about the situation, and something just hits you - the puzzle pieces suddenly fit. These moments may come rarely, but they are consistent in the direction that they direct us towards.

For me, often the Wow moments come as I am driving along in my car listening to music, praising God, and thinking about my future or while I am just relaxing outside. In these moments, I get a “Wow, is God really actually calling me to go into a ministry field.” A deep gutting (but in a good way) feeling comes over me. But then the what ifs and well ifs start to set in and it scares me terribly. Well if I go into another field that means three more years of college, maybe more school after that. I have built up so much already around Biology and I do really enjoy it too. I have already been regionally recognized by multiple organizations for my work. I have so many friends who won’t understand my choice for change. I stood up this spring at an awards banquet as I had a plaque handed to me and the presenter joked about how people change their majors a lot during their Junior year. Then I would start to doubt things further about changing my major. I think about all my faults and shortcomings. I start to dwell over the responsibilities. I start to fear the unknowns. And just like that… What happened to my Wow moment? Maybe it was just me, maybe it wasn’t really God talking, besides how could he really be asking me to do something so crazy?

Our fears hold us back from so many things. Remember the story of how Jesus calms the storm? It was always one of my favorites as a child. Jesus is asleep in the boat as the group crosses the sea. Suddenly, a huge storm came upon them and began to fill the ship with water. The people come and wake Him up - pleading to Him. Then Jesus calms the storm. Mark 4:40 – “And he said to them, Why are you so fearful? how is it that you have no faith?” Isn’t that just like all of us? We are sailing along and Jesus is right here in the boat next to us and yet STILL when something big comes up we fear we are going to drown.

What dumb things to think. But the Wow moments are there trying to work through. Come now, you know where they come from. And who are we to doubt God’s works? God has built up this radiant, bizarre love inside of me. I can’t really explain it, but I know that I am being led to use that gift and give it back in a big way. I know the direction that he is leading me. Even if I don’t know which road to take, I can still walk in that direction. I know that he can build me up for whatever task he has set out before me.

God will guide us. We are so afraid of the unknown, yet it is one of the very things that can draw us closer to Him. Let God manage the unknowns. Just act upon what bits and pieces of wisdom he allocates to you. And goodness, when God gives you a piece of the puzzle, don’t turn it over in your hand. Like me, do you get such a clear picture and then turn around and doubt it. Do you ever pick up a puzzle piece, stare at it, and ponder over which side is the top? Have you ever tried to put together a puzzle upside down? It’s pretty hard to match up the blank brown pieces. And even if you do, what picture do you have when it’s finished?

Gather up your pieces, turn them all right side up, and start trying to fit them together. Even though you don’t have a box cover to refer back to, after awhile you will start to recognize a picture and the pieces will fit more easily. There will still be holes and gaps, but you will have a direction to go on. Just like a puzzle, when we choose to follow God’s will, we start by connecting together the corners and edges. They may not seem like much at first, nor seem like important parts of the image, but they act as the corner stones and boundaries within which the image will unveil itself in greater detail over time.

Thanks Sally because our talk also helped me see where God is leading me. I hope it was helpful for you too and will help others here who are facing big decisions in their lives.

Oh yes, and I would certainly like to invite anyone reading this to have a one-on-one talk about whatever you are trying to work through most in your life right now - whether you just want a listening ear or want some direction. It’s something I’ve been feeling led to do for a long time. Just give me a call or drop me a note and let me know.

Favorite Places

I took a little family road trip to the Mississippi Palisades today. I think this spot may have my favorite scenery in Illinois. It's amazing to look out from the bluffs down over the Mississippi River. It's s0 beautiful compared to what I'm use to in Illinois. Here are some pictures, but I really wish you could be there to experience it with me in person some time.

Springtime Nature

I've been getting out and enjoying my time off this Spring / Summer. I've been out birding a lot with friends and doing photography this week. Here are some recent photos.

Happiness

Today marks the end of a week long fast for many students at Judson College. Congrats to everyone who participated in this. During a fast we take something ungodly out of our day, week, or month that we lust or yearn for. I challenge everyone to stop and take a deeper look at this from a life perspective. Regardless of whether or not you participated in the week long fast, stop for a moment right now and think about everything that is driving and influencing your life apart from God.

What things are you holding on to? What is idolling your life away? What past or present experiences are you unwilling to let go of in your life. What truths do you know, but not want to admit? Who are you mad at or unwilling to forgive? What sin, what guilt is still heavy on your heart? What pain are you unwilling to cease dwelling upon?

Phil Vischer, the creator of Veggie Tales, spoke at the iMAGO film festival and I really liked what he had to say. I was really moved by what he had to say about his life in particular because it rings so true with my ideals: when you let go “your dreams will become God’s dreams”

Letting go is what it is all about. Unfortunately (though fortunately in the long run), for most of us, truly letting go first requires really loosing something big. We lead these mundane, but seemingly happy lives, all the while not noticing how distant we truly our from God.

Even a man like Phil Vischer – a man who brought Christianity into many homes through the Veggie Tales characters of Larry, Bob, and others – ended up slipping away despite his seeming success.

Happiness is when you can give up everything that you are holding on to and just praise God. Through the Holy Spirit we are filled with joy, a joy that comes through praising God and putting ourselves to work for others.

Loosing everything is ultimately what restored Phil Vischer’s life. Suddenly, a man at the forefront of a booming, popular media craze – who became wrapped up in his desires and dreams instead of the Lord’s – found himself wrongly convicted in a court trial and the head of a now bankrupt company.

You know when it seems like everything bad that could happen to you does… and all at once? Well, pay attention, because the term coincidence is often little more than an atheistic word used to brush away the works of God. How ironic that those challenging things, those things that can never be adequately explained away, when they appear… suddenly the word coincidence becomes a justified, scientific term – a rational non-explanation in a modernistic society with a hard driven purpose to explain and prove without doubt every little unimportant question in life.

For Phil Vischer, like people everywhere, going through this time of trial was a wake up call that brought him much more in line with God’s purpose and filled him with a happiness and love much greater than that which he had previously known.

Let go of your life. Allow God to take control. Desire to live for God and share his love with others. Listen to what he tells you and look for his comforting hand when you are struggling – through nature, friends, dreams however he shows it to you.

As you allow yourself to focus more and more on God and allow yourself to stop managing and randomly using up time in your life, you will find an amazingly strong, lasting love and happiness that comes only through Christ.

PRAISE

I walked slowly down the concrete sidewalk. Oh the night air - it is so cold. I cross my arms in front of me trying to keep in the warmth. Hunched over slightly as I walk, my cold back grows ever more stiff. Cars whiz by me to my left, nothing between the sidewalk and the road and brick buildings to my other side pressing me ever closer to the road. Yet still, I feel an eerie silence. I look down. The street light above casts a cool bluish light. It draws a harsh shadow on the concrete in front of me. Barred windows trim off the buildings. Passersby walk along with firm faces looking so gazingly forward down at the path in front of them that they almost loose a sense of life. But I lift my head. I look at their faces; what I can see of them…

I take in the air and let out a deep, slow breath that seems to ride upon it, fading but never ending. So damp here. So cold. Potholed streets. Littered alleys. Glowing, yet lifeless signs hanging above struggling businesses with locked doors. Then I breathe in again – drawing in the souls of those walking by me with heads down. Oh how I see them. How wonderful. How drawn in your image, Lord. But so many, how so lost. Let me breathe out again, but this time let your love ride on the warmth of the air. Let your life light the streets. Let your image clean the litter. Let your spirit lift laden heads. Use me for your purpose. Use me to bring your word of life - to them.

I am a shameful man. A sinner beyond reproach. And you have saved me. You have filled me with a love soooooo amazingly strong. Rays of love break through my soul and body like pins, exploding beams of light, dancing out from within me. My head leans back, my arms down yet in my mind outstretched as wide in praise. I close my eyes. A love so strong I grow ever more weary, literally my body aches from joy. I return it all to you. Give it to others too. Let me share it with others. Let me scour the world for them. I have something to share. I have found a path in my life. It comes through Jesus Christ. I have found purpose and joy beyond earthly justification. It is in the Holy Spirit. Lord use me! Give Me Words! Fill My Spirit! Let me do your will! Let me pour out your love! Lord, I come to you now. Turn my ways and guide me. Give me direction. Let me turn my life to you. Oh Lord, I LOVE you with all my heart. I LOVE you. Use me now! Use me for your will!

Night @ The Campus

I did basically nothing all night tonight (Friday). Around midnight I went for a walk around campus just to relax and get my mind off of things. It was a perfect night for photos (calm and just a bit foggy) so I took the camera and tripod along and snapped these shots.

I don't know how well it got my mind off of things but it did give me a chance to think about how blessed I am to be here at Judson. I really love it here and feel like it's the place where God truly wants me to be.

Burning Praise

There's a certain passion that comes with living as a Christian; it is a burning praise. It doesn't require words, it doesn't require actions, it doesn't require going to church every Sunday, it doesn't require amounts of bible time, it doesn't require "x" acts of charity. It bends the norms of expected behavior, it twists the rules of expected grammar, it shatters the rules of expected priorities. All it takes is the giving of love to God through Christ and the Holy Spirit, whether things are rough or things are wonderful. Everything should be built around how much time we spend loving God and those around us (Matthew 22:37-40). When we make this our priority, our passion will overtake our laziness, our fears, our doubts, our bitterness, and our anger. Some people lecture about the need for discipline, but having discipline is not the issue; the issue is where we focus our discipline. The first place we need to be disciplined is with our love. A man or woman disciplined in loving the Lord and those around them will have far more than a man or woman who goes to church every Sunday, reads the Bible every day, and gives away all their money, but does nothing out of love. These are all good things, but without love, they are severely lacking - rather even "nothing" in the words of Paul. Yes those elements will be present in a Godly individual's life and in fact be a vital part of sustaining it, but as we grow our love and devotion to God, our requirements become our passions.

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Corinthians 1-3).

So I implore you with this; where is your focus? In what areas in your own life, your ministry, your church, or beyond has your focus been on the fruits and not on the vine? Are you growing fruit or are you growing branches? A small tree overburdened with fruit with eventually will lose its limbs in a storm, but a large tree with strong branches will bear a great weight and still remain.

Learning Patience & Growth through Trials

--- From my Daily Devotion for Saturday ---

Did you know that what starts as a curse can end as a blessing? When the Mexican boll weevil devastated the southeast Alabama cotton crop, farmers reverted to planting peanuts and ended up producing more than any country in the nation. Consequently the town of Rucker erected a monument bearing this inscription, "In profound appreciation of the boll weevil and what it has done as the herald of prosperity."

When Jesus discovered Lazarus was sick he didn't respond till after he'd been dead four days. But because Jesus was waiting didn't mean He wasn't working. He chose to demonstrate His resurrecting power - to prove that nothing's too hard for God. Joseph was falsely imprisoned for 13 years. But God was with him and he went on to save multitudes, including his family who'd mistreated him. Joseph's struggles made him better, not bitter. But it could have ended differently if he hadn't maintained the right attitude. God used Esther to save her people, but first he put her in the position of living where she didn't want to live and doing what she didn't want to do. Even though a widow, Ruth ended up gleaning in a field where she met and married a wealthy man named Boaz. In addition to bearing him children, she became part of Jesus' ancestral bloodline. So if you're struggling to see God's purpose in your suffering today, rest assured He has one. After feeding a multitude Jesus told His disciples, "Gather the leftovers so nothing is wasted." In God's kingdom nothing is ever lost. When you trust Him, he makes "all things work together for good"

(Romans 8:28) "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

--- My Comments ---

Our struggles can make us better but only if we maintain the right attitude and keep focused on what God is trying to show us. "See God's purpose in your suffering." God will turn it around and use it for good. So often we loose patience and hope with waiting, but God has a specific plan for us that he is building up over time. Sometimes it may be a plan that takes years, but rest assured he is working in your life, and also in the lives of others through you.

Spiritual Dreams - Part 2

(Recap.) God still speaks to us in our dreams at times, and if we are listening. I’m not talking about actually hearing him speaking, but rather having a dream, waking up, and KNOWING without a doubt of its origin. It’s not something you looked for. It was just there and when you wake up, and you know ~without a doubt~ that God has spoken to you. The dreams are also unusually vivid and real.

Here is the second of two dreams that I had. Again this dream came to me directly in response to an unusually deep, faithful, prayer I made to God the night before about something very trying in my life. The dream I have written out here, I careful wrote down right after I woke up from it.

September 18, 2006
I was on a flat cliff with a rocky edge and scattered plants. A large arched stone gate with no walls on either side and raised iron bars sat randomly on the west edge of the cliff. Far below, a weightless walkway coming in from the southeast from a place behind the rocks led to a castle in the sky, but the castle could not be seen. Only its towers and bits of the outer wall were visible through the clouds. The towers were seven times wider and loomed seven times higher than any built by man, towering even above the clouds. Whisping clouds surrounded everything, but the castle still loomed out of the sky. Only sky could be seen beyond the castle. It was a sunny day and the bright warm rays lit up the moving clouds, glared in my eyes, and warmed the stones of the castle with light. I stood at the edge of the cliff surrounded by my friends. With undoubting faith, I stepped out onto one of the clouds which was not there prior, but rather instantly appeared below me, saving me from an otherwise certain death. I departed from the cliff and the cloud slowly but swiftly descended upon the castle - the Kingdom of God. As I neared, I was overwhelmed with the joy of the Holy Spirit and I said my last loves to my friends on light breathes. Just as I neared the castle, I awoke to the sound of my roommate’s alarm, for it was not yet my time to see God’s Kingdom. I wrote out my vision and I was also filled with this thought: “Place God first always and think of others less fortunate and unknowing.”

This was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. An amazing joy on a level that I had never experienced before. The images in my dream were also some of the most beautiful I have ever seen. Words cannot come close to describing it. My spirit has been forever changed. I speak here not with intent to boast, nor in denial of my many shortcomings, but rather merely to make known what I feel that I am pressed to share, that it might be an encouragement for others as it was for me.

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” -- (James 1:2-8)

Spiritual Dreams - Part 1

God still speaks to us in our dreams at times, and if we are listening. I’m not talking about actually hearing him speaking, but rather having a dream, waking up, and KNOWING without a doubt of its origin. It’s not something you looked for. It was just there and when you wake up, you know ~without a doubt~ that God has spoken to you. The dreams are also unusually vivid and real.

Here is one of two dreams that I had. This dream came to me directly in response to an unusually deep, faithful, prayer I made to God the night before about something very trying in my life. The description of this dream is paraphrased from my memories.--

May, 1999
It was a quiet, sunny, summer day devoid of people or cars and I was walking home via the route that I always use to take in Elementary School, only reaching the T-intersection just a block from my home, I was confronted by a tall man and woman, adorned with golden-blond hair and dressed in long white robes with looming sleeves. Each was swinging a long rope weighted by a bead and blocking my path straight ahead down the road towards home. Suddenly, my best friend appeared and said, “I am here with you” and then he took my arm and guided me down the side road and away. When I awoke, I knew that the dream was inspired and that Jesus was the one visiting me in the image of my best friend.

-- These words below are my own “condensed” thoughts… so take them merely as that and feel free to question, comment, contradict, or attempt to expand upon them --

Sometimes we see a straight, easy path ahead of us, but there is an obstacle in our way. God provides us with a “way around” when we are dealing with our troubles, and all we have to do is to take his hand – he will help us to give up our stubbornness, to not get caught up in our fear of the unknown, to recognize our faults and shortcomings that are causing us to stumble. We will always encounter trials in our lives, but by turning to God and allowing him to work in our lives, we will be built up in our faith. He leads us down a wandering path – one that is often unclear and unknown to us, but it IS the path that will lead us most directly to our destination. Oh how we cannot see it though, for the straight path is so clear to us. All that we focus on is the obstacle that is in the way of the destination that is within our sight.

God is Always there for you… through all your trials. His arm is always around your shoulder. His love floats through the air, surrounding you and lifting up your every limb and every finger - filling up your spirit.

“Surely, God will not act wickedly, And the Almighty will not prevent justice. Who gave Him authority over the earth? And who has laid on Him the whole world? If He should determine to do so, If He should gather to Himself His spirit and His breath, All flesh would perish together, And man would return to dust.” – (Job 34:12-15)

“Why do you complain against Him, That He does not give an account of all His doings? Indeed God speaks once, Or twice, yet no one notices it. In a dream, a vision of the night, when sound sleep falls on men, while they slumber in their beds, then he opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction, that He may turn man aside from his conduct, And keep man from pride; He keeps back his soul from the pit, and his life from passing over into Sheol.” -- (Job 33:13-18)

“He will sing to men and say, I have sinned and perverted what is right, and it is not proper or me. He has redeemed my soul from going to the pit, and my life shall see the light. Behold, God does all these oftentimes with men, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be enlightened with the light of life.” -- (Job 33:27-30)